Baldur’s Gate 3 – A Mildly Amusing Guide to BG3 (early access)

Baldur’s Gate 3 – A Mildly Amusing Guide to BG3 (early access)



To all things that are not immediately obvious when playing the game. Combat, Races, Classes, Spells & random stuff.

Top tip: Avoid teleporting spiders.

Please note; this guide is in Early Access and is not complete, much like the game.

Thank you



This guide is in early access so you may notice the formatting is all over the place.
To find things you can look for the section headings or use ctrl + F to search for a word.I will avoid spoilers whenever possible.This guide is getting stupidly long. Hope you enjoy!For a more serious introduction to the game, see this guide:

All the general things

  • I hate spiders
  • So do gobbo’s (tasty tasty yum yum snackies)
  • The more you [REDACTED] the more [REDACTED] so [REDACTED]
  • Avoid typing spoilers in your guide whenever you can. (Hi Larian!)
  • Magic items are dope
  • The higher charisma your character has the better they are at bartering, so maybe let the warlock do it, ‘ey.
  • Do not attack an entire camp of enemies when you are in the middle of their camp. Seriously, it’s not a good idea.
  • You can fast travel from almost anywhere, good for escaping places you don’t want to be in anymore. (Like the aforementioned camp. Totally intentional. I promise.)
  • The purple runes on the stones are fast travel points. Keep an eye out for them.
  • The pie is a lie. (I like pies)
  • Your companions will like or dislike your actions. Play your cards right and you can have some happy fun times. Or turn them down like the socially awkward person you are and realize why you are still single IRL too.
  • Friend? or Food?
  • Some items give you spells. Movement, attack and healing spells are the most valuable in my opinion. But you do you.
  • Dying is not the end. It is merely another path. Which all your characters must take.
  • Seriously tho if you all die just reload a save, quick save is your friend. If only one or two die, it’ll be fine. . . I think.
  • Save before you go to go to camp / long rest. A lot can happen, personal drama, cinematics, new friends, and it’s very easy to put a foot wrong when you you were just trying to be funny. Just like real life. So save, it’s not save scumming if it was unintentional !
  • For maximum DnD immersion set units to Imperial. (This also makes more sense in universe imo)

Combat General Tips

  • Press ctrl to change the direction your characters are facing. This matters because Backstab is a thing (basically you get a bonus to your attack roll if attacking from behind) this applies to all enemies and your characters too. So stabby stabby.
  • Better armor is rare, only the outfit (or chest piece) actually changes AC (shields also add to it) otherwise, boots, gloves, head pieces and jewelry apply bonuses. Such as +1 to dex save or (in the case of a rare magic item) intelligence set to 18.
  • Start the fight whenever you can, getting the jump on the enemy is the difference between life and death. Preferably from stealth. With a rogue. This give you a surprise round. (A surprise round is a full round where the enemy does not get to act) (note that when trying this method, often your other characters, if sneaking or out of range, will not immediately join the fight, you have to make them join manually)
  • Crowd control is the biggest deal in this game. Anything that can stun, terrify or put to sleep the enemy. Basically, make the enemy have fewer turns & actions than you makes it a lot easier to win.
  • The two most powerful spells I have found in the game so far are bless & healing word. They aren’t fancy or flashy but boy howdy are they effective. Cleric FTW.
  • Finesse weapons allow you to add your dex to your melee attack rolls rather than your strength. Very important for high dex characters. This is basically just ranged weapons, daggers and shortswords, but read the tags.
  • Enemies are more intelligent and less forgiving than your average combat encounter run by your friendly dungeon master. So expect to get flanked, put to sleep, have a single character focussed down, and all the things your DM could do to you IRL but doesn’t because he wants you to come back and play with him next week.
  • Size matters. The bigger the die being rolled for your weapon damage, the more damage it will do, however, more die, of a smaller number, offer more consistent damage.
    (If you want to know the nerdy math behind it, 2d6 cannot roll lower than a 2, but have a lower chance of rolling two 6’s. Where as a d12 can roll a 1, but has a 1/12 chance of rolling a 12. Overall, the affect is debatable but more die tend to feel more consistent than larger, but fewer die.)




The supporty-healy boi cleric is pretty essential to any party.

Healing word is a bonus action that lets you pick up allies from a distance. There is no reason to ever not have healing word. KEEP HEALING WORD IN YOUR SPELL LIST!

Bless is also kinda dope. Bane (anti-bless) is more situational but more useful in those situations.

Otherwise you can build for damage with light, healing with life or if you wana be weird go trickery.


Fighters are your standard, uh, fighty-person. I wonder what they do? Hm.

Nice to have, but not necessary for survival.

Battlemaster is like a tactical fighter, whereas Eldritch Knight is a fighter with spells. Personally, I like it when they stick to hitting stuff really hard.


I have no comment at this time because I have not played it yet. 🙂

But, like, pew pew?


Rogues do sneak attack damage when they attack from stealth. As you level up you can use a bonus action to hide again as a rogue. However, you need to make sure you are out of line of sight of the enemy to do this.

Ranged Rogue is kind of a thing. It is more effective to be a dual-wield melee rogue. As you get to attack again with your off hand as a bonus action. Letting you get as much as four (!!!) attacks off per round, compared to a ranged rogue’s single attack.

The rogue is … wait … where is the rogue?

Thief rogues get an extra bonus action (whcih can be used to attack with your second sword… which is your backup sword in case the first one breaks? I don’t know. That joke was a stretch. Or dash to be a speedy boi.
Arcane tricksters get some spells to mess around with, which are mostly utility based. You could also use them for damage spells but frankly the thief is way better for damage right now.


Warlocks have a Sugar Daddy, or Mommy. Not sure which. Not judging, just thought you should know that the spells and stuff are on loan. Hence only two spell slots.

Eldritch blast is a warlock spell that uses no spell slots so you can use it + your hex to deal consistent ranged damage. Or you can just punch them in the face and feel like a badass for 0.0012 seconds before the wizard next to them turns you into crispy bacon.

Speaking of Hex. The type of ability score you hex will determine the affect of the hex. So, if it’s a big strong dude who hits really hard in melee, hex strength so he can’t hit you. Hex the dexterity of the archer, so they also can’t hit you. Or combine and hex to wisdom and a spell from another caster to give that spell a better chance of working. Sleepy sleepy trolls.

As a Warlcok you get a waifu, uh, ‘patron’ who is either a Dark One (Fiend) or a great Old One (if you’re into that sort of thing). Right now, the Fiend lets you heal a bit when you kill something, and the Old One does… nothing? Still napping for now I guess.


Wizards are kinda cool, they can do immense damage, but are also so squishy. That means that don’t have much health. But it’s more fun to say squishy. “squishy” *hehehehehe*

Wizards should get more AoE spells (big blasty spells) later on but I haven’t seen them so far in Early Access. They still have the most spells to choose from of any class. It’s pretty insane. I don’t know what half of them do. They are colour coded (kinda) tho. So yay?

You can be a Abbbbbjuration wizward which lets you cast a ward (?). Kinda lame. More like a utility wizard.
Of if you wana go blasting without worrying about the face that your ally is next to the dude you are blowing up, go for Evocation. For explody fun, without the unnecessary hassle of health & safety! Leave your high-vis jackets at home!


Your race matters. . . like, elf and stuff.

Uh, to clarify, I mean that, for example, if building a rogue, you want darkvision, you may also want the proficiency with shortbows + longbows that a Wood Elf gives you or any other racial bonuses.

But if you want to make a halfling fighter go for it!


Humies are boring. Get horns. (It’s an RPG, stop playing human fighters, ugh)


Tieflings are kinda. . . horny. I like it.

Sub-race for every class.

Bonus: tails.



Elves are pretty awesome and quite strong as a choice. Everyone will think you are probably stuck up because you think you’re better than them. Which is quite unfair.
You know you are better than them.

Because sleeping is for noobs – you just meditate like a boss.

Really strong choice for most classes. Not recommended for Fighters as nothing really helps you there.


So you’re edgy? You haven’t out grown your goth phase? Welcome to the club. We have Superior Darkvision.

Because you want to be a social outcast in this game and IRL.

Not a bad choice at all for Ranger / Rogue / Warlock (pick Warlock for maximum edge, careful, you might cut yourself).


Obligatory scottish accented short & strong people. If you don’t know what a dwarf is, I seriously worry for your fantasy education. If you’re still confused. Just look up Gimli gifs on google.

Comes in fighter and cleric options.

If you go fighter make sure to have an elf in the party and keep count of your kills (always have more kills than the elf).


You and your perfect teeth and your perfect hair and *ugh* your just so annoying.

Comes in snooty, tanned and goth flavours.

Basically the best choice because of the versatility and darkvision and everyone likes you and your perfect face and I just- *throws papers into the air*


You either meme hard or are a fan of Samwise (the best hobbit – fite me).

Really good for rogues. Or for creating a tiny fighter so you can wet yourself laughing when he charges into battle against gigantic foes.


Do not make fun of their funny noses. DO NOT make fun of their noses. I just.. wana tweak it.

Generally people with anger issues.

Good for classes that want to hit stuff. Or suddenly make classes that aren’t good at hitting things, suddenly good at hitting things.



I don’t know how to make this funny so. . .

AC (Armor class) is the number an attack roll needs to beat in order to hit.

If you don’t know what your AC or your enemy’s AC is, you can right click and examine them.

Then it will show up on the right of their portrait above their ability scores.

Ability Scores

are the numbers that determine the physical and mental characteristics of any.. character.
They are as follows:

Strength: Makes you swol bro. (Also increases your chance to hit things with most melee weapons, and you know, helps you lift bro.)

Dexterity: Can you do a handstand while juggling a chair with your feet? My Dex 18 Rogue could. If they roll high enough. (Also adds to your AC with most armor, more on that later. Also adds to your attack rolls for finesse weapons & ranged weapons)

Constitution: Ever had a curry and suffered the morning after? Your con isn’t high enough. (Adds to your hitpoints/health, helps you concentrate on things and avoid acid reflux. Generally a good stat but never the most important one).

intelligence: That one dude in class who gets A’s without studying, he’s probably a part-time wizard. (Also just makes you know all the things).

Wisdom: Your mother who somehow has eyes in the back of her head and always knows when your feeling down? This is her best stat. Great for clerics, but everyone needs to be able to see.

Charisma: The slick guy at the bar who somehow goes home with two girls. Yeah. I hate that guy too. (Makes everyone like you, give you discounts, at the moment only the Warlock really needs this for his spells).

Key ability scores for each class and subclass may change. This should be your highest score.
In general this is str for fighter, dex for rogue, int for wizard, wis for cleric, and wis or dex for ranger.

This will also change depending on how you specialize your class, so if you decide to run a melee ranger (why tho?) then str and con will be more important because a) you want to hit & b) you want to not die.


So now that you know your ability score and what they do, they don’t matter. I’m kidding! But really the big number (like 10, 14, 18) doesn’t matter. It just lets the game work out a little number. This is known as your modifier.
This modifier only increases with each even stat level.
I’m not sure for BG3 get but in DND it’s basically:
10-11 = +0
12-13 = +1
14-15 = +2
and so on. I think for BG3 they add +1 to this across the board. So 18 would be +5 not +4. I think. Cannot confirm yet and it might change tomorrow and will change once they add in difficulty levels.

On the bright side, the game does all the math for you, so when you roll a dice it goes oh, 1d20+3 str + 2 for the weapon = 15 !
and it just shows you the end result number. The only exceptions seem to be a critical fail or success.
Which when the d20 rolls a 1 or a 20 respectively.

In IRL dnd (optionally) something cool happens at this point. So;
On a 1 you might throw your sword across the room.
On a 20 you might cleave the goblin in half with a flourish. (and deal double damage in the process).

Far as I can tell BG3 keeps the “double damage” bit, but hasn’t implemented anything else for this state currently.

Advantage / Disadvantage: pending

Concentration: (Full pending)

You can only have one concentration spell active at a time. Whenever you get hit you need to make a constitution saving throw (1d20+ con modifier) to see if you can maintain the spell. This is why its generally a bad idea for clerics and wizards to frontline (besides the squishy)

Damage Types: (Full pending)

You can Slash, Bash and Poke your way to victory. The only useful tidbit I have about this right now is that Bludgeoning damage is the only type that can damage breakable walls. So keep a warhammer handy.

Leveling Up: (Full Pending)

Max level in early access is lvl 4 (?)

Try to keep ability scores even (as explained somewhat in ability scores math section)


Oh boy. I’m gonna regret making this section.

So I won’t go over all spells because I would actually like to see my family this christmas. However, I will touch on those I have found most useful.


Bless makes your peeps better. Pretty simple. They also glow a bit.
Mathematically, every save or attack they do gets a minimum of +1, up to +4. Which makes a massive difference.
The spell is concentration, so avoid getting punched in the face – more than usual.

Healing word:

The most powerful spell in DnD makes an appearance!

Okay, slight exaggeration but it is one of the most useful spells, and there is no reason to not have it. It’s a bonus action heal that can pick up an ally from a distance, without having to touch them inappropriately like usual.

Blade ward:

Doesn’t use a spell slot and gives you resistance to all normal damage from weapons. Basically the spell you use before running into the middle of six guys, and you might even make it out alive!

Eldritch Blast:

I must commend Larian on how spectacular they have made this spell. This is the Warlock chad’s bread and butter. 1d10 damage without a spell slot, it’s better than any bow or crossbow I have encountered. Great ranged option.


Can’t talk about the warlock without mentioning hex. Everytime you (the Warlock) hit the target they will take additional damage. They also roll an ability score (like strength) at disadvantage. Note THIS DOES NOT REDUCE AC, it’s at disadvantage, it does not actually reduce the score.

Also you can reapply it for free!

Basically the Warlock button for saying, see that dude over there, he’s gonna have a bad day.

Armour of Agathys:

Hit me, come on, I dare ya!


The anti-bless, bless’ edgier cousin. Makes enemies worse. Much more situational than bless but can stop that one elite dude from killing your entire party.

Which is nice.

Charm Person:

Hey handsome, you wouldn’t hit a dear like me would you?

Create Water:

Why is everything always on fire? This is not okay!

Faerie Fire:

Make invisible things sparkly. Sparkly things are also either to hit.

Tip: Do not go into battle in glitter and sequins. Attacks will have advantage against you.

Fog cloud:

Change the battlefield into a rave!

Make sure enemies on one side have to move in closer to engage you. Really useful against large groups. Do not use on allies.

Now all we need is music and dancing lights. Where is the bard?

Hellish Rebuke:

No really, please do hit me. Please!

Hunter’s Mark:

The ranger equivalent of singling out one dude to have a truly awful day.

Inflict Wounds:

I don’t need a mace when I can poke you to death!

Mage Armour:

Or, ya know, wear actual armour. Doi.

Shield of Faith:

Ha! Now you can’t hit me!


How many adventurers do you see? One, two… three… f- Z z z


I feel like I need an AC/DC song riff to go with this.

Also known as back the **** up.


Okay fine, you could still hit me. But what about now?

No relation to the band. I checked.

Lesser Restoration:

Sometimes you just need to give your bud a pat on the bum and his bronchitis will just disappear.

Melft’s Acid Arrow:

Acid reduces your target’s AC by 2. Handy. Just try to avoid spraying friends.


Mirror Image:

How can you still hit me? FINE then. Now you get to hit pretend me’s for a bit while I work out how to kill you.

Misty Step:

* goblin on duty, watching out for adventurers *
* rogue – teleports behind him *
*goblin “Nani?”

I- I can’t finish the bit. You know how it ends.

Prayer of Healing:

Y’all stupid asses keep jumping off buildings right next to a ladder. And WHY did the rogue decide to lick their poison dagger? Omw these people. Fine, just- have some healing and leave me alone. Imma pray to my god for a new cleric because I am sick of y’all.

Scorching Ray:

Set the bad guys on fire for once! Three of them at once! Woo!


.– …. .- – / -.. .. -.. / -.– — ..- / . -..- .–. . -.-. –


I will update this guide and format it properly when I have time. Unfortunately I am quite busy IRL at the moment. I will also try to update this when the full game releases. Please check back later to see the updates.

If you can’t find something and you really need my opinion on it then leave a note in the comments and I will get to it never when I can.

This guide is intended to be both informational and entertaining, so I may not be *entirely* factual all the time. I will do my best to explain things in a somewhat entertaining way as this sort of guide can be extremely dry otherwise.

I hope you all found this moderately amusing and informative.

Comments & ratings are appreciated. This is a work in progress. Thank you!

This guide is SO LONG !



By Crunchie

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.